Rebad: Story of Young

Channel 23 Bear Reality News


By: Reba Dundas

Good morning Sitka!Coming to you live, well actually a few minutes ago.My name is Fredrica Underchoir and I am your anchorwomen for today.First we have many stories in this 7 o’clock report such as a granny getting married,chesta cheetah going solo, sailor boy rumor, kool-aid changing the world, one band aid at a time,and finally the question about the oats with Quaker the godfather of oats.Here is my co anchor Kenneth Zerbetz with the Granny getting married story.

Thank you Fredrica for that well introduction.Hello as Fredrica told once again I am Kenneth Zerbetz or you can call me Bucky.News struck hard this afternoon when we got the information that old Betty Crocker is gonna be a married women.We went out to get the inside scoop of this story from the baker her self.

The first question I had asked her was ‘’Who is this special man?’’

She slowly replied with her little old voice ‘’ Who is it!Are you serious!Its my little popcorn man Orville,you know that old fart with glasses Orville Redenbacher.’’

My second question for her was ‘’What date are you two lovebirds gonna be a united couple?’’I said very loudly but calmly

She said ‘’What’’ sounding like she didnt here a word I said.

So I repeated my self this time more slower and even louder.

She said quite softly as a deer’’Maybe on April Fools day,thats what I think we decided on.’’

So the final question I had asked her was ‘’What place are you to going to get married at?’’

Hesitantly she exclaimed ‘’One of those drive through wedding places in Vegas!’’

So that sums most of it up for now.Heres your weather update with our wonderful meteorologist Jackson Riversteam.

Good evening viewers on this nightly new cast.It looks like we are going to have a high chance of mountain dew rain fall down around midnight tonight.We have a temperature of 27 degrees on this cold, cold spring week.The temperature should decrease by 9 degrees by sunrise.So its not a great day to go camping unless you rent an awesome cabin.Tommorraw we have a low chance to see the mountain dew rain we had and more of dibs of hail and I guess that the ground hog was wrong.Note to self only believe the wierd creature of the marmot. So that caps up the weather for today and tommarrow, so make sure you get ready for the dibs of hail tommorraw.

Chesta Mixed Emotions

Hello, its me Fredrica to fill you in on the chesta cheetah going solo.So that means that no more bad commericals!YAY!Chesta released this shocking news this afternoon to the press.Lucky enough that I was there to get the deep reasons why he is choosing this record deal thing.As Chesta told the press and I that he was going solo, I recognized his new manager Thomas Hedshaw.I quickly asked him to have a interview with him.He told me with a straight face’’A interview, seriously do you think I have time for a interview,well I dont and I have many things I have to do and I dont have time for this at all , so good bye.’’

As he rushed off into the crowd up by the legendary cheetah.I started asking his fans about there reactions and suggestions about his solo record deal.Many said he should start being a country singer some thing like keith urban or some one, and many disagreed with that statement saying that he should be a screamo band and the same results came back saying he shouldnt do that either.I asked many people attending the conference and the most shocking reaction that I heard was that he should not leave the commerical for the beloved chips of ‘’Cheetos’’ because he is one of his familys favorite mascot for chips and wish that he did not leave.An other strange reaction I had recieved was that a teenage young lady said that he would just fail at singing,and that he is already kinda bad at acting.This story will be continued next time at 7 o’clock.

Sailor Boy is He Real or Just a Lie?

I am back and I am Bucky to detail you on this vag rumor about the Sailor Boy, the question everybody is DIEING to know is he a real sailor?Last week every one basically asked this question ‘’Is Sailor Boy really a sailor.’’ Many people deny that he is infact a sailor boy.We want our viewers to know the truth, so the truth is that he is really not a sailor boy its just a brand name that the company uses.When I found that out I was horribly creeped out because its just useless to hire someone to pretend to be a sailor boy even though hes just a twelve year old boy to pretend to be the hero and represent the company.I personally would fire him and change my logo to a real sailor boy not some paid kid to dress up and get his hair done for a picture and just put it on there box as their logo.

When I went and talked to the C.E.O. of the company I had many ideas plop up in my head mostly about why did they do that to us?WHY I kept thinking, why does stuff like this happen. We could of prevented this.

So my first question out of three was ‘’Why did your company that puts clothes on your back not tell us that Sailor Boy isnt a real sailor?’’

He replied in such a formal voice ‘’We thought it might let us get more customers,and help us form new machines and every thing.’’I watched him as the sentence came out smooth but such in a way that I wanted to hear more.

‘’What are you going to do about this special case were you got to make a huge decision?’’I tried to say the question as well as he did.

The C.E.O. said in such a way in words’’ Our company is going to have a contest for any boy under the age of sixteen that is an actual sailor of a ocean or a lake, and we are going to choose the best pick for the logo.’’

My final question for this young fellow’’What is the old sailor boy gonna do?’’

He replied ‘’ We have already dealed with him and I have no more comment about this topic.’’

We ended the interview ,you know shaking hands say thank you for your time and all of that.

Mr. Kool Aid Trading in for a Medic Bag

Changing his career , Mr. Kool aid had special choosen Bear Reality News to let out some info about his new life/career. On a late monday afternoon in our city , our very own very loved drink label had released news simalar to Chesta Cheetahs breakout.Mr. Kool aid had leaked out to us that he is going to study the medical field starting next semister in september.He is planning to become a paramedic, one of those people that take care of emergencys such as a car accident or a first degree burn or you know what ever they have to do.

He told us that he would like to become a paramedic just to change everything up and try new things and teach the young your never to old to go to college and achieve higher levels of intelligence for a better future for them and a better future of the world as well.Also he would like to help the community because it is lacking medical personnel and is dramatically changing our small but large town of Sitka.’’I incourage the high schoolers and adults to go for there dreams no matter how high the really are.’’ a quote from the inlighted brain him self.

Oats are Real So Deal With It

Hello this is Fredrica back with you to discuss the oat controversy over is it really oats.This controversy was started a little over a month ago.People were starting to question the godfather of oats him self Quaker.The question was is it true that its not a fake oat that was made in a lab.So I went to the big man of the business of a ,mafia.He showed me how the make them start to finish and I say that they are really real oats, and that this was all a little overboard on this whole debate.

The first then they do is plant the seed in the rich and mighty soil then it goes in to the factory breaking it up and ever thing just about the time that the wrap it up and make it ready to eat. Many people have said that it is all made in a lab.Well I have seen the process from start to finish and I say that they are completely wrong and that everyone gets a free package of oats at the wedding of the oldies.

THE END

Well thats a wrap. So see you next time you come back to this short news recap of the day this is Fredrica over and out and this is Bucky over and out til next time don’t plan to watch any chesta cheetah commericals!Tune in next time for the Chesta story on Bear Reality on channel zero two three.